Hasty Comparisons

With Brett Favre's retirement after a Week-17 loss to the Detroit Lions (Disclaimer: he didn't play), it was time for me to choose a new favorite quarterback. With the NFL's population of endorsement sluts, University of Michigan backups/Joe Namath wannabes, dog rapists, southern California pretty boys, and Eli Manning, Aaron Rodgers seemed like the logical choice. I have always liked him anyway, seeing as that I've always been a Green Bay fan and he studied under the best for three years.

However, I wasn't counting on Rodgers's career being some kind of living proof on the effectiveness of Packers GM Ted Thompson's decision to end the legend's lifetime contract as starting QB. Throughout Green Bay's impressive run in the playoffs this year, the media harped on the "redemption" story line and fans played out the "Brett Who?" attitude (See: BrentFavre.com). I found this to be not only disrespectful--as a biased, lifelong Favre fan--but irrelevant. Sure, Brett ended the Packers playoff run in the 2007 season with an embarrassing interception in the NFC Championship game against the Giants in his last game ever in green and yellow. Sure, the Packers beat Brett's Vikings twice on the way to a 10-6 record and a #6-seed berth in the playoffs. (For the record, Favre is 2-2 against the Packers in his career. Not bad.) But the Packers were not out to prove they didn't need Brett; they were not out to make him regret ever playing for their rival Minnesota. They wanted to win it for themselves.

And they did. And with Rodgers winning the Super Bowl MVP, it was a beautiful thing. Despite Favre saying that he was predicting and wanting his former team to win it all, the media continued to force Brett Favre into the Super Bowl storyline. What's that? Aaron Rodgers has won as many Super Bowls as Brett Favre? Aaron Rodgers won Super Bowl MVP, something Brett Favre never did? So what? Talk to me when Rodgers throws 508 touchdowns, wins 3 regular-season MVPs, and starts 321 games in a row. And sure, you can even talk to me when Aaron wins his second Super Bowl.

For the record, I hope all this happens. I hope that, during the 2015 season, when Brett Favre is inducted in to the Hall of Fame on his first eligible ballot, Rodgers is on the way to his sixth Super Bowl victory in a row. I love Aaron Rodgers, and Brett should be welcomed back into the Packers organization by then anyway. As for right now, let's avoid the hasty comparisons.

This is too much stress for my first senior year

Last time, I was lamenting on how I am some combination of excited and/or nervous about my friends and myself being so close to the real world. Well, it turns out I am not as close to that real world as I then thought.

I had an audit on Tuesday and I found out that it will take me another three semesters to graduate. Or two if I really bust my ass and take summer classes, which potentially could lower my GPA into the range of no-longer-graduating-with-honors numbers.

I will have plenty of friends left in Mt. Pleasant next semester/year, so I am not too worried about Central no longer being fun with so many friends graduating. It's just that I feel it shouldn't take me too much more than four years to get a Bachelor's Degree. If someone finds out it took me 11 years to get complete a four-year degree (an extreme exaggeration, I hope), then I will be looked at as some kind of deadbeat slacker. "You're graduating college at 29-years old!? What the hell were you doing!? Drinking everyday? Coke addiction? Gambling at Soaring Eagle?"

I don't need that. I'm not a slacker. I have two majors (one was switched to a major with a concentration), a minor, education classes, degree requirements (all of which I finished before the university decided to lighten that load a tad), and university requirements.

Anyway, appearing like a slacker isn't my biggest concern. I feel stuck in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan right now. If I had to choose where I would want to be stuck, Mt. Pleasant would not even be close to the top of my list. I should be traveling the world instead of spending more time on my undergrad. Or at least teaching somewhere groovy. That's the main thing. College is great, and I honestly wouldn't trade the experience for the world (another exaggeration. There isn't much I wouldn't trade for the world, but college really has been excellent), but I feel like I'm dragging my feet here instead of doing what I really want to do: help people and teach.


Well, now that I got that off my back, here's some things I've been pondering about lately:

My roommate explained this theory to me recently that there are numerous bird names that could also be names for male genitalia. Here's a sampling:

1. Bare-eyed Cockatoo
2. Goliath Palm Cockatoo
3. Blue-naped Parrot
4. Zanzibar Brown-headed Parrot
5. Hooded Parrot
6. Woodpecker
7. Woodcock
8. Woodstar
9. Frigatebirds
10. Flicker
11. Hamerkop
12. Helmet-Shrike
13. Lapwing
14. Limpkin
15. Pale-headed Rosella
16. Riflebird
17. Wagtail
18. Swallow
And our personal favorite: The Purple Martin

In other news, I realized that the only time-telling device I trust is my phone. Whenever I wear a watch, I check the watch only to reach into my pocket and grab my phone in order to make sure that the watch is accurate. There are also bells on campus that ring every 15 minutes. Whenever I'm walking to class and they ring, I know what time it is, but I'll still check my phone to check the accuracy. And even if I overhear someone telling someone else what time it is, I like to check my phone to see whether or not that person is correct.

Another musing that I have been bouncing around in my head is: Do frat boys talk shit about non-Greeks as much as we do to them? (Probably) When someone is sporting their Greek letters, I can usually make an accurate snap judgment about what kind of person that is. [Disclaimer: Key Word usually. Not always. While I have met and known many Greeks that aren't complete douches, unfortunately the majority ruins it for those exceptions.] But I wonder if they mock my non-Greek status as much as I mock them:
"Hey, look at that guy. I bet he's tolerant of other people's race, sexual orientation, religion, sex, and socioeconomic status."
"Hey, this guy probably likes good music."
"Do you think he has any friends if he's not in a fraternity?"
"He's probably never even jumped a guy or been in a 7:1-ratio fight."

Just some things to think about.
Until next time, Love, Peace,

and the White-headed Pionus?

Excited/Scared

I have never had trouble scheduling for classes until this past few weeks. I have been preparing for fall 09, the beginning of my 2^nd senior year.

My feelings about scheduling the past week remind me of a quote from Owen Wilson’s short-lived character in the 1998 disasterpiece Armageddon: "Great, I got that 'excited/scared' feeling. Like 98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it's more - It could be two - it could be 98% scared, 2% excited but that's what makes it so intense, it's so - confused. I can't really figure it out."

If I’m going through this much nervous excitement when I still have a year left, I cant imagine what my soon-to-be-graduate friends (which is most of them) are going through. I recently had to calm down a friend who was freaking out about the future. Preparing for my teaching cohorts and midtiers, student teaching, portfolios, etc. are stressful enough, but a lot of my friends are worrying about much more stressful things, i.e. graduation, job interviews, moving. And this stuff is right around the corner for me.

I never claimed to be a good writer, so I don't feel too bad about not knowing how to describe the nervous-excited feeling, but I do know that it is normal. Everyone goes through big transitions in their life. My last one was moving away to college, and I just had a friend who retired from a 30-year career. Although the nervousness and excitement are expected, it doesn't make the feeling in one's gut any less intense. However, I know all of my friends, both high school and college, are going to be successful in all of their varying career paths. I am proud of all you soon-to-be-graduates, and you should be too.

In other news, NASA recently had a contest to name a new wing of the International Space Station. The winner? "Colbert," after host of The Colbert Report Stephen Colbert. Members of the Colbert Nation have had disappointment with contests like this before; Hungary declined to name a bridge "Colbert" after a similar online election because the talk show host is neither Hungarian nor dead. Also, his name was denied for the South Carolina Democratic Presidential primary. Representative Chaka Fattah (D-PA) released a statement in favor of the winning name: "NASA decided to hold an election to name its new room at the International Space Station and the clear winner is Stephen Colbert. The people have spoken, and Stephen Colbert won it fair and square..." To be clear, Colbert did mobilize his fans to vote for the name, but NASA chose to have this online election. I urge them to do the right thing, the democratic thing.

Finally, I would like to admit that after Oscar's nervous-excitement in Armageddon, he was soon killed off. I'll try not to let that worry me; I suggest you do the same.

I'll try not to let a year pass before I write again. Until next time, Love, Peace, and

Colbert In Space?

Wal-Mart with a hint of morals?

I never thought I would say this, but Wal-Mart might not be quite as evil as I originally thought. Wal-Mart decided not to fuck over Debbie Shank, the former employee who won a lawsuit against a trucking company. Wal-Mart's executive Vice President Pat Curran said, "Occasionally, others help us step back and look at a situation in a different way." I don't know why he needed to look at this one in a different way; the right thing to do seems pretty obvious to me.

But the quote was in response to an outpouring of negative media attention Wal-Mart had been getting. Bloggers and YouTubers were all over it, but CNN was largely responsible for the story breaking nationally.

Glenn Beck, a fascist pundit on CNN criticized CNN's handling of the story by calling them "terrorists." He also added that Wal-Mart "folded" under the media pressure. The good news about that is he should be out of a job soon... Hopefully.

So what have I been pondering about lately?

I cringe everytime someone uses the word "gay" to mean bad or stupid. "Gay" is not synonymous with negativity. "This movie is gay? I don't understand because Schindler's List is not really a happy movie. And films are asexual, I guess; they can't really sleep with other movies of the same gender."

I was watching a Led Zeppelin concert DVD last night, and I realized music is dead. No band will ever be as good as Zeppelin or The Beatles. I can't stand some of this current hip-hop garbage. The circular logic of "I'm hot because I'm fly. You ain't 'cause you not" infuriates me. And if artists can't think of any good lyrics, they start spelling words to fill time. Fergie does this in every song and occasionally spells words wrong! How can she write, record, edit, promote, and sell a song in which she is spelling T-A-S-T-E-Y without someone telling her that she is an idiot? Tupac would roll over in his grave if he heard this shit.

"You" + "Are" = "You're"
"Your" means possession.
Please stop getting this wrong.

Until next time, Love, Peace,

and I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T?

"WHAT?!" "I SAID, 'IT'S LOUD IN HERE!'"

I went to the club last night. I did some dancing but ended up holding true to my ideals.

I did, however, remember, why I dislike going to clubs in the first place. It's not because I'm not a dancer because I am most of the time. It's because I can barely hear a friend who is screaming into my ear. I must be getting old when I'm complaining about loud music, but I very much prefer the bar atmosphere where I can at least talk to people.

So here are some things that I've been pondering about lately:

I hate when someone asks my religion as if it is something I'm supposed to have. It's like asking my thoughts on the tooth fairy: "Um, I outgrew that a long time ago."

I hate when I get shorted on fast food. The other day, I paid for a 9-piece cheesy tot from Burger King, and I only found 8 in the box. I was understandably upset, but I try not to let this kind of ripoff get to me that much, especially because I have spent a good chunk of my life so far working in the restaurant business. I don't want to be that guy that goes back up to the counter and demands one more cheesy tot. It's not like they did something completely outrageous like put ketchup on my veggie burger. But that is why it's so upsetting: because I would look like a douchebag if I complained about my missing cheesy tot that I paid for and rightfully deserve.

I notice that people overuse the word "random." Most times when this word is invoked, it doesn't apply. Most things are not random. Unexpected, sure. Unusual, maybe. Not random.

I'm glad that I'm not completely socially awkward. I know when not to talk or sing loudly to myself, unlike some people I pass on the sidewalk. I also know that when a professor asks "Any questions?" as a way to conclude the class session and everyone starts packing their books and putting on their coats and scarves, one should not force a question for the sake of participation.

I recently noticed that approximately half of all the shirts I own are green. I have no insight into this. Sure, it's my favorite color, but I never sat down and planned to wear green every other day. Does this abundance of green say something about my personality? Or my future?

I organize money in my wallet. All the bills have to be facing the same way and in order by denomination. I'm sure I'm not the only one to do this, but I take it a step further. I have a pet peeve about cashiers chaotically throwing cash at me facing every which way. I make sure he or she sees me take my time and organize it all before I walk away.

Being the nerd that I am, I can crank out a 4-6 page paper for school in no time. But I can't do it without thesaurus.com being open behind my Word document. I love thesauruses. Thesauri?

Sandwich artists at Subway are NEVER in a good mood.

Until next time, Love, Peace,

and "randomness?"

Alow myself to introduce...

myself.

I'm Andrew.

This is my web log, where all of the answers to your most difficult life questions will be answered... eventually... maybe. Okay, a more appropriate description of this blog might be aimless ponderings of a nerdy, white boy in Mid-Michigan. Yeah, that's probably a more accurate characterization.

"So what enlightened insights have you to share, Andrew?" Well, nothing too incredibly special right now. But there are a couple of news stories I wanted to share.

First, according to a Pentagon statement released Tuesday, the US government accidentally shipped Intercontinental Ballistic Missile components to Taiwan instead of the helicopter batteries the Taiwanese were expecting. Honest mistake, I can see how anyone would mistake ICBMs for helicopter batteries. But is anyone as mortified by this as I am?? A plane full of these missiles are flying over middle America and the pilot doesn't even know about it! "Hey what are those tubes in the back?" "Oh, those are 'copter batteries, I think. Ya know, they look just like..." BALLISTIC MISSILES! Yeah, anyway, the Taiwanese sent them back, probably because they didn't know what they were. And although the US government shuffled its feet and mumbled an apology to China, the Chinese are not to happy about it. Some DOD officials lost their jobs, and it looks like there will be some investigations to appease China. Interesting story, to say the least; crazily scary might be more accurate.

In other news, fuck Wal-Mart. For the past 2 years, Wal-Mart has been involved with a mentally-handicapped woman, whose son died while serving in Iraq. The woman, Debbie Shank, was involved in a car accident 8 years ago, which was the cause of her mental handicap. Two years ago, Shank won $1 million from a lawsuit against the trucking company in the accident ($417,000 after legal fees). Wal-Mart, Shank's former employer, took this money because a clause was included in the fine print of its health plan that stipulated that Wal-Mart could take back any medical expenses if an employee collects damages in a lawsuit.

Wal-Mart, which makes billions of dollars a year and has a firm spot near the top of any richest-corporations list, stole $417,000 from this poor woman, who weeps everytime she re-learns the news that her son is dead. $417,000 isn't much sometimes when it comes to medical bills (especially for Wal-Mart), but it is a hell of a lot better than nothing. It would have helped this family, who fought so long and hard for the money.

Heh heh, "firm," "long," "hard."

Sorry.

I might be going to the Wayside tonight, a Mt. Pleasant bar/club that allows under-21-year-olds to get into the club part. I'm not much of a clubber, so I'm not a huge fan of that half of the scene. However, I do like the bar, the main reason I'm going. I was told I could find a slutty, drunken 18-year-old (which is what the Wayside is all about) to rebound with in the club, but that's not really my style. I think I'll stick to cheap beer and March Madness in the bar area and avoid that disaster of a setting.

Probably.

I plan to include much more personal stories and information in future entries, but I had to get those news stories off my chest today.

Until next time, Love, Peace,

and ICBMs?